It’s true, I can’t sleep. It’s 4:45 am and since I was just tossing and turning (which in itself is a feat when you are 9 months pregnant) I decided it was better to not fight it and just get up and do something productive, like blog… very productive.
So we kinda thought we may have been on our way to Toronto yesterday to get induced to have little Birdy early today, but when I called yesterday, Mt. Sinai had room for me, but Sick Kids across the street didn’t have a bed for Birdy. Which is kinda important. So we were granted a reprieve, and were told to call this morning after 8:00 am to see if a bed had opened. If it has, we can finish packing and make our way down to TO, if not, we wait again.
It’s hard to wait, but yesterday after church we were prayed for, and I mean, really prayed for. Our elders and pastors gathered, along with about 40 friends and supporters and I think the heavens trembled. It was so powerfully amazing, one of our elders prayed and 3 of our pastors and I just wish I could remember everything that they was prayed for. They prayed for Ava’s healing, that surgery would go well, that Jason and I could be a testimony to God’s faithfulness, for our relationship, for our other children. Wow, all I can say, is that if you are going through a trial and belong to a church, please please consider being prayed for like that. And the strength and peace and that incredible spirit of power that can only come from God was so real and descended upon us… I don’t think I was the only one who was moved.
And we are going forward with all confidence now, knowing that God has a plan for us and for Birdy and we can rest in that and surrender to His will. And as I said to Jason last night, I know God can heal her and bring her home to us, but on the other hand, I know that if He decides instead to take her home to be with Him, she will be completely and utterly healed, and how incredibly amazing that would be for her. So incredibly hard for us, but God would help us through, because God is good.
And man, is he ever carrying us! I know that any strength that I have is from Him… all the strength that I have is from Him alone. Praise God!
So yes, I am prepared to wait if that means waiting for God’s perfect timing. In my own little world, things would happen when I want them to happen, but it’s one more thing that I have zero control over, so I need to just rest in the fact that it will all happen when it happens and try to enjoy just being here for as long as I can.
And with our four very energetic children, it’s not hard. And because I love the Christmas season so much, we’ve done so much Christmas stuff together already like making our traditional Christmas cookies together, and decorating the house, and going out and cutting down a Christmas tree, and listening to Christmas music and even attending a Christmas party in our neighbourhood that they held early for us, that I feel my poor kids probably feel like Christmas should be here any day, but they have weeks still to go. Which I think is probably good because the excitement of Christmas coming will get them through these first few weeks of us being away. And then I’m really hoping that maybe they can all join me in Toronto at the Ronald MacDonald house for their Christmas vacation, or at least some of it and then December will be over and if I’m still away, we will worry about January later. 
I’ve been so terrible at taking pictures the past few months, the distracted mother that I am. But I did bring the camera to our Christmas tree hunting expedition, which we had never done together as a family, but proved to be quite a bit of fun. Don’t ask me why we are all bundled and William is only wearing a sweatshirt – I guess more proof that I’m distracted, but as that kid moves 100 miles per hour is never cold, I guess it wasn’t so bad. And he took very good care of little sister that day…
Erik enjoying some hot chocolate and marshmallow roasting afterwards…
Sarah, oh my Sarah, she is so close to my heart right now…
My precious family, my gifts from God. And as we go forward today and see what God has in store for us, I am so glad that whatever happens we have people who love us and a God that cares for us, and we are truly and utterly blessed. Even when I can’t sleep.
Amen.
